idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
