so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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