In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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