So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
