I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
