you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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