Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
