I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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