this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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