God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize