it hurts more in the daytime
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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