Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
