Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
