So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
