i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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