I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
