i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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