I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
