She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
