erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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