that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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