She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
