I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
