I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize