dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
