Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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