and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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