i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
