i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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