Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
