Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The adults are the big ones right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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