Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
