You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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