Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
