the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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