We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
