I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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