What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
