That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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