She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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