Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
