she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
