sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
