Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
