just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
