Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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