i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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