i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
