Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
