yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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