So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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