The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
