scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
