My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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