me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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