Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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