im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
