Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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