last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
