I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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