is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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