We won't sleep together?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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