I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
